


Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys

by MelloPie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mental Institutions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5626132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelloPie/pseuds/MelloPie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is sent to a mental institution after the ultimate prank on his parents fails. Here he meets Remus, a strange boy accused of murder. Can Sirius solve the mystery and save Lupin's life? And will Remus let him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys

**Author's Note:**

> This is an revised version of my fanfiction previously posted on FF.net

Sirius smiled as he craned his neck to take in the massive building at the apex of the circle drive, not because he was happy to be there, but because he knew a smile would make his mother that much angrier. Her taste for the expensive was unmatched, but he’d never imagined it would extend to prisons and nut-houses. Still, nothing about that surprised him. The building was ancient looking, but well kept. It had obviously stood on the same grounds for generations, and while Sirius could see where renovation work had been done—the bricks in a few places brighter than the surrounding stones—it still had an ancient and majestic feel to it. Behind the main building, toward the left he could see a steeple peaking over the ornately tiled roof. He was also not surprised that his mother had chosen a loony-bin that held Mass.

When he finally glanced at his mother, the great Walburga Black, he caught her glaring where she sat across from him, swaying slightly as the driver followed the long arc of the drive. Sirius couldn't help but smile that much wider.

"Good thing Dad didn't need the limo today. It would have been terrible if we'd made the wrong impression on the asylum workers," he jeered, thrilled when her gloved hands audibly tightened around the strap of her purse.

"For the last time, darling," she ground the endearment through her teeth. "This is not an asylum. It is a boarding school."

"Which is why it's called a 'sanitarium,' right? I mean, I don't know where the confusion comes from.”

“If you paid closer attention to the words you used, you’d know that “sanitarium” is simply a place for people who are recovering from injury or illness. Not every patient is here for mental reasons.” 

“I’m always so impressed by your knowledge, Mother. I can now go on with a truly fulfilling life knowing that all these years I’d been using the word “sanitarium” wrong. I never knew that it was a place for lunatics, invalids, and unwanted sons.” 

"For the love of God, Sirius, just keep your mouth shut until I'm gone."

As she finished speaking, the door between them opened and the driver assisted her as she climbed gracefully from the car. Sirius wasn't surprised that his mother was impatient to be rid of him. Were their situation different, she would probably have cast him aside long ago, but they needed him to keep the Black name going, and he wasn't terribly keen to see how far they would go to make sure that happened. After a slight pause he followed behind her as the driver moved to retrieve the luggage.

"Ah! You must be Walburga Black."

Sirius looked away from the driver when he heard a man's boisterous voice. From the top of the steps leading up to the mansion, he watched a portly man in a blue suit hurry toward his mother, one hand already extended to shake hers, which he did a might too roughly. Walburga's slight frame shook from the force of it, and while her well-practiced smile withstood the onslaught, Sirius could hear the masked irritation in her voice as she replied.

"Yes, you must be Mr. Slughorn. What a beautiful institution you have here," she said cordially.

"Why thank you!" Slughorn beamed at the compliment. "We really do try to provide the best-of-the-best here while our wards get well. And let me say again what a delight it was speaking with you on the telephone."

As he reached for her hand again Walburga masterfully side stepped his advance, waving her tastefully gloved fingers toward Sirius instead.

"This is my son, Sirius. I spoke with you about him on the phone."

"Oh! Yes, of course!" he said as he teetered over to Sirius, giving his hand a violent shake and his shoulder a painful clap. "I know you'll enjoy your time here. And you'll be right as rain in no time."

Sirius wasn't sure what to say. He hoped that this wasn't how he treated people with real mental issues. Chances were, Mr. Slughorn was merely the wallet, which gave him some comfort. He could only hope that the brains of the operation were inside the building somewhere. 

Now that he was outside the car, the huge stone building felt a little more intimidating than it had moments before. He’d been grinning to annoy his mother, but now he felt a weight inside himself. He’d been sent to boarding schools before, but none of them had bars on the windows—even if they were made of decorative wrought iron, they still turned something inside his stomach—and none of them had been full of boys thought to be “unfit” for proper society. Still, it was better than spending another day in his parents’ house. 

By now, Slughorn and Walburga were making their way into the building, and as even the driver passed him with his luggage Sirius finally started his trek up the stairs.

 

Nearly an hour later, Slughorn still had them sitting in his richly decorated office, Sirius slumped in one chair, his mother weakly holding her posture in the other. While her back was straight as a board, she’d stopped smiling, and had even stopped trying to get her son to sit up straight—a sure sign she was completely over Sirius’s new pug-faced headmaster. Finally, when Slughorn stood, offering them a tour, Walburga leapt at her opportunity to excuse herself.

"I am desperately sorry, Mr. Slughorn, but I am afraid I simply cannot stay. I have very important business to attend to. I am sure my son can tell me all about your facilities in his letters home, though." She tried to get Sirius to stand, but ended up having to practically drag his long frame out of the chair.

Then she began a wonderfully maternal show for Slughorn, straightening the shirt that Sirius was wearing. She looked concerned, even managed a shimmer of tears in her eyes, but despite the pout of her lips, the words that came out of them—the words that she kept quiet enough for only Sirius to hear—did not match her performance.

"You can come home as soon as you come to your senses. You should be glad that your brother is dead, or I'd leave you hear to rot for the rest of your life." She licked her now ungloved thumb and pretend to clean a smudge from his cheek. "But since we lost the better of our children, we're left to count on you to fulfill your duty to the family. You will do as the family wishes. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can leave this place."

As she finished speaking she pulled him down to kiss his cheek, pinching the other softly before faking a wonderfully believable sniffle. She brought her gloves to her mouth as though to keep from crying and looked at Slughorn who nodded sympathetically at her.

Then she was gone.

Without Walburga there, the office felt much larger. It was always hard for Sirius to breathe when he mother was in the room. No matter how bad this place might be, he was sure it would be better than the prison he unfortunately had to call home. 

Slughorn made his way to Sirius as he was wiping his mother's kiss from his cheek. He patted him on his shoulder, then waved him toward the door. 

“Come along then, son. It’ll get easier as time goes on. For now, let me show you around. I’m sure we can find something to ease your discomfort.” 

He supposed that Slughorn’s stupidity was a much lesser evil, so he pushed his dark hair out of his face and let the man lead him out of the office. 

 

The halls were quiet, due to classes being in session according to Slughorn, as he was lead on an in-depth tour. He was shown the dining hall, the recreation room, and the chapel, though he was told that the tour of the grounds would have to wait, as he hated to sweat in his good suit. While the outside of the building had been very “English country manor” in design—all stone walls and arched windows—the insides were very modern in comparison. The halls felt like every other school he’d been sent to, the dining hall felt like the high ceilinged cafeteria he remembered from primary school. It was only the dorm hall that felt like some sort of asylum wing. Maybe a prison wing. The doors were metal and had windows installed in them, which suggested they would be monitored at night. 

When he was lead into his room he saw that his luggage had already been delivered. The space was small, but tidy. There were two twin beds, headboards against the far wall, a curtained window between them. At the foot of each bed, against opposite walls, were matching dressers and then desks. There were two small closets and a shared bathroom.

"Oh! Nearly forgot." Slughorn was suddenly trying to detach a key from his crowded, jangling ring. "We find that having a key gives our residents a feeling of security and independence, so this is yours," he said as he handed it over. "Of course staff will have a master key to access your room. You know, emergencies and routine check-ups. That sort of thing. And they can be confiscated if we see fit"

Sirius just nodded as he took the indistinct, silver key.

"You'll be sharing the room with a boy your age. One Remus Lupin." Slughorn looked like he was fighting the urge to bounce on the balls of his feet, fiddling with the keys in his hand now.

"Has he not arrived yet?" Sirius asked as he noted that the two sides of the room were identically void of any kind of personalization.

"Don't be silly, my boy. Remus has been a resident here for, er… several years now." He was still smiling, though a very light sheen of sweat had begun to cover his forehead.

"Are we not allowed to decorate then?" Sirius asked, arching one brow in a way he knew made him look particularly dashing. He wasn’t trying to impress any one, but he still liked to know he was using his good genes to their full advantage. 

"Oh, of course you are!" Slughorn smiled brightly, seeming pleased for the change of subject. "You can put up anything your parents send you, as long as it meets regulations of course. And we do make trips into town every so often, so you can get things to decorate from shops there as well." He hurried over to the window, pulling the curtain back to reveal a rather nice view of the futbol pitch.

Sirius ran a hand through his unruly mane as he made his way to the window, admiring expanse of green, the view marred only by the tall, barbed wired fence at the edge of the field. It was good to know he would at least have a little room to run, but his mind still lingered on his mysterious roommate. What kind of teenaged boy would live in a drab little room like this for years without leaving any kind of sign? As though Slughorn could sense the rapid approach of questions, he turned on his heels and made his way back to the door.

"Well, I'll leave you to unpack." He checked his watch. "Classes should be out shortly. Feel free to explore if you'd like. Supper's at seven and we'll have a time for your entry meeting with one of our councilors probably tomorrow morning. You'll get your class schedule and all that then." He was talking so fast now that Sirius was surprised he didn't stumble over his words.

Before Sirius could ask any other questions, Slughorn had said his goodbyes and was gone, the weight of the door making it slam louder than he’d expected. The room seemed even blander now that it was silent. Sirius looked back out the window for a moment before moving to inspecting the bathroom, which was nothing special. In the shower he found some shampoo and other products and on the counter by the sink there was a toothbrush and paste; the only signs that this Remus Lupin boy actually existed. It was only through a great show of self-control that he was able to keep from taking the room apart looking for more of his belongings.

Growing up privileged and easily bored, Sirius had taken to snooping around his own home, the estate so large that there were probably still rooms he'd never been in, even at seventeen. Causing trouble for his parents by finding brothel receipts, liposuction bills, and small pouches of suspicious powder amused him enough to keep him from wandering into the countryside and never returning, and so infuriating his parents had quickly become his favorite pastime. There was no way this new boy could hold as many secrets as his parents’ estate, so it was only a matter of time before he would discovered all of them. Why bother rushing?

To keep himself from snooping, he turned to his second favorite hobby: preening. Sirius had begun to sprout upward when he was thirteen, and by the time he was fifteen he was breaching six feet, though he had looked like he’d been stretched out on some horrible contraption. He had stayed awkward and spindly for much longer than he had wanted, but over the past year and a half he'd finally filled out—probably because of the obsession he’d developed in his last boarding school. With nothing else to do, he’d focused on exercising and playing futbol. It was the only perk his last school had. Since he’d returned home, however, his parents hadn’t let him play, saying that futbol was a “barbarous sport” and that he should do something that required less sweating. He’d kicked his ball around the mansion as retaliation until that had also been taken away. Despite his struggle, though, he had developed the body of a grown man now, and was pleased and openly impressed by it. As horrible as his family was, none of them were lacking in the looks department.

While annoyed by his preoccupation with his appearance, his parents couldn’t deny their appreciation of his ornamental appeal, raking in the compliments they were paid on the rare occasion they took Sirius with them to one of their soirees. It was the only thing that threatened his appreciation of his own good looks: his parents' unabashed claim of responsibility for them. He'd thought on many occasions that it would be unbelievably funny if he were homely. He would enjoy watching them suffer over it. He’d thought about taking a knife to his face before, of marring the perfect sculpture they’d made. Instead, he’d cut his hair into a style that was only a few inches away from being a Mohawk. The space over his ears and around the back of his neck was shaved down close to his scalp, leaving the long, wavy hair at the top of his head to fall forward into his eyes. He pushed it off his forehead and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror for a second. A scar across his cheek would definitely do the most damage to his pristine face. 

Instead of disassembling the safety razor they’d let him pack with his toiletries, he left the bathroom, stopping to do a few pull-ups on the door frame. He missed the shouts of disgust from his mother. Then he began to unpack.

 

Sirius was buried deep in his closet when he finally heard a key in the door, and he felt an uncharacteristic wave of nerves wash over him. Leaning back, he caught a glimpse of the boy before he was detected. He was tall, probably as tall as Sirius was, but still seemed a bit gangly for his age, though as the boy moved to pull his key from the door, Sirius got the impression that he simply had a narrow frame. Releasing the door to let it swing shut Lupin brought a hand up to push his gently curling fringe off his forehead and out of his eyes, seeming relaxed until he caught site of the luggage. He stopped, hand still in his hair, then he heard a small noise from the closet and his amber eyes locked immediately onto Sirius.

Sirius was caught off guard by the power Remus had in his eyes. His initial impression had been that this thinner boy was pretty average in the looks department, but his eyes made Sirius think his impression had been wrong. Usually, Sirius found brown eyes particularly boring, but even from a distance he could see a gold shimmer to them that may have shown through the dark with its intensity. His hair was only a few shades darker than his eyes and long enough that small wisps of curls brushed his cheekbones. His face was like stone though, his expression unreadable. The only real acknowledgement Sirius got from the other boy was a slight twitch of one eyebrow.

Suddenly realizing that he was staring, Sirius raised a hand and flashed a smile that usually had girls and the right kinds of guys blushing. 

"Remus Lupin, right? Sorry if I gave you a fright." He chuckled amiably as he spoke.

"Who are you?" Lupin suddenly asked, his voice as stony as his face.

"Uh…" Sirius was a little taken aback by his tone. "Sirius Black. Your new roommate?"

Remus continued to star at him, his incandescent eyes moving over him appraisingly for a few more moments before turning away from him. He sat down at his desk without a word, flipping one of his school books open.

~Hold the fuck up!~ Sirius’s head reeled. ~Did he just give me the cold shoulder? Did he seriously just turn down a conversation with me to do fucking homework?~

Sirius’s ego booted him out of the closet in a flurry he covered up with just enough grace. He'd always prided himself on his ability to have a good conversation with anyone—and he really did mean anyone. He'd even stooped so low as to flirt with some of the eighty year old women at his mother's last soiree to keep them from ignoring him. He hated being ignored. In a desperate attempt to be conversational and put forth a good impression, Sirius found himself blurting out the first thing on his mind.

"So I had a hell of a time sorting out which side of the room was mine. Why haven't you put up any posters or anything?"

"Don't talk to me," was the answer Remus had for him, though it was said so casually that Sirius thought he’d misheard.

"Excuse me?" 

"Just because you're so wrapped up in yourself that you need people fawning over you doesn't mean that everyone wants to listen to you," Remus replied tranquilly, not looking up from his page where he was scribbling notes.

"Excuse me?" Sirius repeated, his voice louder this time. "Who the hell do you think you a-"

"Don't waste your breath. I really don't care what you have to say. And I wouldn't bother unpacking any more than you already have. As soon as I'm done with this I'm going to go have you moved to a different room." Though he interrupted Sirius, his voice never rose above a conversational tone. "I like the way my room is, and I don't want you in here messing things up."

Sirius was rarely speechless, but, other than profanity, he couldn't think of anything else to say. Instead, he grabbed his suitcase and violently shook every piece of clothing in it onto his bed, then for good measure he pulled the sheets out from where they were neatly tucked under the mattress and tossed his pillows around a bit, making sure his side of the room looked thoroughly debauched. He briefly considered hauling a few buckets up dirt up from the grounds.

Instead of the annoyed reaction he’d hoped for, Remus merely stood up and stowed his book gently in his desk drawer.

"You shouldn't be so upset," he continued in his calm, slightly robotic voice. "If anything, I'll be doing you a favor. Staying here with me would only drive you to try and kill yourself again."

"What makes you think I'm here for attempted suicide?" Sirius asked cheekily.

Remus turned his eyes on him again and Sirius found himself a little confused. He felt as though he were receiving two different messages from his roommate. While his mouth was spouting insults and threats, his eyes were saying something different, something far gentler, though just before his impression of him could be shaken, he heard that automated tone again.

"Only selfish people kill themselves," he said coolly before walking out of the room again.

Sirius was too dumbfounded to get a word in before he was gone, left instead in a moment of mental silence before his head exploded again. 

~What the hell is his problem! How dare he act like he knows what my issues are!~

He chose to ignore for the moment that Remus had guessed exactly the reason he’d given his parents to finally send him away. In what could only be called a temper tantrum Sirius suddenly jumped onto Lupin's bed, yanking all the covers off and making a mess of it the way he'd defiled his own bed. Sirius had grown accustomed to the annoyance that people showed him in response to most of his actions. The calm insults he’d received from his roommate left him feeling confused and unsure about how he should handle himself. But one thing was certain, he was going to get under this boy's skin. He would find some way to make his cool demeanor break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a review or comment!
> 
> If you want to check out my original work check out my boys love erotica novel, Hungry For You. You can find it in paperback, kindle edition and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited here: http://tinyurl.com/otlkp68  
>  **  
>  -Cole, an incubus who lives in an underground facility with other super-powered teens, struggles with self hatred for what he is and for the emotional damage he's doing to his best friend who has been "feeding" him to keep him alive. Bastian is a new recruit from Germany who can't tell lies, but also knows when you're lying to him. When they meet, the two have an immediate and eerie connection with each other, though neither of them know what it means, or even if it's anything good. If they want to be together, they will have to overcome their own uncertainties, their teammates, and the tenuous relationships they're already tangled in.  
>  **  
>  You can also follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleKay) and Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mellopie) for updates on new fanfiction, new original work, and for my convention schedule. <3 <3


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius waited around his room for several hours, hoping that Remus would come back so he could lay into him with all of the great come-backs he'd not been able to muster on the spot, but when dinner rolled around his stomach told him to give it up. He wasn't too concerned about going to dinner alone, as he was usually quick to make friends, despite his record thus far. And while his exchange with Remus had left him feeling a little shaken, he was glad to find that not everyone was as hard to deal with as he was. 

Despite the resistance he felt toward agreeing with his mother, she had been right—despite being a “sanitarium,” not everyone there was a raging lunatic. It was easy to spot who was there for real psychological problems, but Sirius got the impression that many of the boys there were like him—being stashed away where they couldn’t embarrass their families any more. 

In fact, it reminded him quite a bit of the boarding school he'd attended before his brother's untimely death, save for the white-clad orderlies hanging around the perimeter of the cafeteria. His parents had been so proficient at keeping Sirius out of the way that many people thought the Black family had only one heir. He remembered how many guests at his brother’s funeral had been shocked to learn that Caelum, the gem of the Black family, had a brother. Sirius had become talented at adapting to whatever environment his parents threw him into.

Raising onto his toes, Sirius was able to watch the front of the line that wound through the food servers, then to a small counter before they were released back to the tables to eat. He watched the workers hand each student who stopped a small cup of water and a smaller Dixie cup that he assumed had pills in it. 

“You’re new, eh?” 

Sirius turned to look at the boy behind him as he was spoken to. He was an averaged height kid, probably the same age, with wild hair that may not have seen a comb in days. 

“Yeah,” Sirius said, still trying to gauge whether this kid was one of the real crazies or not. 

“What’s your anti?” He jutted his chin toward the front of the line as he asked and Sirius looked back toward the pilling station. 

“My what?” 

“Everyone’s on some sort of anti here. Antidepressants, antianxiety, antipsychotics. What about you?” 

“I’m not on anything.” 

“Heh. Yet.” Despite the strange conversation, the messy-haired boy seemed jovial enough and smiled as he jabbed his hand toward Sirius, giving it one hard shake as the taller boy offered him his. “Name’s James. You look like you’re a sports kinda guy.” 

“Do I?” Sirius couldn’t help but smile, the other boy’s good mood seeming infectious. 

“Are you kidding me?” He slapped the side of Sirius’s shoulder then gave him a soft slug in the stomach. “Like rocks,” he laughed when Sirius’s body had stiffened under his testing blow. “You like soccer? We have a team here. I’m always looking for new players.” 

Sirius found that his good looks and family history usually brought out two reactions in people; either they avoided him, intimidated by his appearance, or they flocked to him, wanting to be part of whatever circle he lived on. It felt different with James. He felt like he’d just made his own, third category of people who treated him just like another regular teen. Sirius was instantly taken by him. They stayed close to each other as they went through the line, and sure enough, James had to stop after Sirius was waved through to take his turn at the pilling station. As they made their way toward an open table he shrugged. 

“Antianxiety.” 

The corners of Sirius’s mouth pulled down in consideration, then he shrugged it off as well. Like James had said, nearly everyone was on some sort of “anti.” He figured that anxiety was the least worrisome of the selection. James led them to a table where another boy was sitting. At first Sirius was surprised, as the other boy didn’t look like he ran with the same crowd. He was heavier set and shorter than either of them. Before they got within earshot, James leaned in close to whisper. 

“He’s my roommate. I feel a bit bad for him because he hasn’t really got any friends.” James slapped the blond boy hard on the back, making him drop the sandwich he had in his hands back onto his tray. “Hey Peter! Look what I found.”  
Sirius took a seat across from Peter who was scowling down at his shirt as he picked bits of tomato and lettuce off himself. He gave Sirius a quick look, then went back to his food. 

“Yeah, great, another meat head. Just what I need.” 

As they talked, Sirius wondered if Peter actually liked James’s company. James had made it seem like he was doing the smaller boy a favor, but he was starting to get the impression that Peter would have been better off on his own. 

 

It wasn’t until they started gossiping about the other students that Sirius saw Peter show interest in anything. Now he sat at the edge of the bench, leaned over the table as he listened to James tell stories Sirius was sure he’d heard a dozen times. 

"…so then classes were canceled for the rest of the day because they couldn't get the horrible smell out of the hallways." James barked with laughter, even with food in his mouth.

Sirius was laughing as well, even while his face twisted in disgust. James was trying to explain the difference between the "misunderstood" residents and the "truly crazy" residents, as he'd put it. Sirius was starting to think he had a point.  
"You should tell him about Marcus." Peter prompted excitedly.

"Oh Christ, Mary Marcus." James waved his hands as though to clear the story board before he started a new tale. "Sirius, my friend, you might want cut your hair a bit shorter. This kid, Marcus, goes nuts if he sees men with long hair. Says they're evil women in disguise out to get 'im!" James paused to swallow around his laughing to keep from choking. "Apparently his mom off-ed his dad and then dressed him as a little girl and changed his name to Mary. Took police five years to catch her. That poor kid's never gonna be level again." Even though he was lamenting Marcus' sanity, he did it with another hoot of laughter.

"They say that he's so afraid of women now, that he's turned queer," Peter cackled.

"We both know there's more than just him around here," James countered.

Sirius just smiled to himself, amused by the "who's gay" gossip that followed. He'd never considered himself gay, but that certainly wasn’t straight either. His first homosexual experience had been part of a fantastic stab at his parents' sense of propriety. He knew they would be appalled to find out their son had been balls deep in another man, and promptly gave them the opportunity to catch him doing just that. He grinned wider to himself as he remembered his mother's look of horror and his father's dry heave. It had been beautiful. While that first time had been specifically to infuriate his parents, he'd decided that being with another man could be quite appetizing, and hadn’t minded going back to his all boys’ boarding school afterward. 

"Well there's Lupin too," Peter added to their list of names.

Sirius's thoughts were brought back to the conversation as he heard the familiar name.

"Uh-uh. No way, that's not a story for someone's first day," James said, suddenly not seeming as amused.

"Wait a second. Remus Lupin?" Sirius asked, looking between them as their eyes bugged out a little.

"How do you know Lupin?" James sounded more serious than Sirius thought was necessary.

"The asshole’s my roommate." Sirius scowled, remembering the annoying way he'd spoken to him a few hours before.

"You're joking!" Peter spit, turning to look at James. "I didn't think he was gonna get another one!"

"Shut up, Peter!" James snapped, then looked back at Sirius, his hazel eyes rigid. "Have you spoken to him yet? What do you know about him?"

"Just that he's a complete twat, horrible with conversation, and on a mission as we speak to get me moved out of his precious, tidy, boring room." Sirius said with a trademark quark of his beautifully arched brow.

James and Peter exchanged glances a second, then looked back at him.

"Take the opportunity to move out," James said firmly.

"Definitely," Peter agreed.

"Why? He just seems like a stuck up brat to me. I can handle a bit of bad attitude. I actually have one of the best bad attitudes around. He won't know what to do with me." Sirius grinned, expecting them all to fall into laughter again, though James and Peter just exchanged another meaningful glance.

"It'd probably be best if you just move rooms," James said solemnly.

"Okay, seriously." Sirius huffed. "Just what is supposed to be so bad about this guy?"

The two boys were silent, obviously trying to decide whether to divulge any more.

"Out with it!" Sirius raised his voice a little, though he was more annoyed than angry.

"Well… it's just that we don't normally tell people this right off," James said slowly. 

"It tends to freak people out," Peter agreed.

"Do I look like I'm going to be bothered?" 

Finally, James caved, sighed, and nudged his chair closer to the table. "It's kind of a long story, but we'll give you the quick version." 

Peter looked up and down the aisle that they sat on and then scooted forward as well, making Sirius roll his eyes. The show they were putting on somehow made him less interested in whatever it was he had to say. 

“I’m aquiver with anticipation.” He was proud of his impression of his mother. 

"Alright." James took a breath. "Lupin murdered his last roommate." 

Sirius stared at him, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. He just looked back at him like he’d dropped a bomb in his lap and was waiting for him to panic. 

"I appreciate your shortened version. But maybe you should tell me a slightly longer version. Perhaps a version that actually explains something?"

It was James’s turn to roll his eyes. "Look, about two years ago we had this new guy come in. Jona. He ended up being a good friend of mine, actually," James said, as though that would give his story more credibility. "He was roommates with Lupin. He was the only guy I'd ever seen who'd actually become friends with him. I mean, Lupin's always been a shut in, right? Even before he became a murdering psychopath." He exchanged looks with Peter again. "Well, the next thing we know, Jona's found out on the field, dead. Arrow right between his eyes." He pressed a finger between his own brows.

There was another pregnant pause as Sirius waited for them to continue. When they didn't, he sat up straighter.

"Well, I think that's pretty hard evidence…" He paused, "That you two suck at telling stories."

"What?" Peter asked, seeming shocked.

"That story was shit! It doesn't explain anything. A) What makes you so sure it was Remus who'd done it, and B) why would he have done it if they were friends?" He counted the two points on long fingers and tried not to laugh when he caught Peter eyeing them. He got the impression that, at least in Peter’s case, his disgust at homosexuality was a bit of a cover.

"Well A)." James mocked Sirius' finger counting, "Everyone knows that Lupin is at the top of the archery club and the only one who could have made such a wicked shot, and B) did you forget about the gay thing? Clearly he'd gotten the hots for Jona, and when he was turned down, he flipped shit and killed him."

"We have an archery club?" 

James opened his mouth to argue again, but then Sirius’s non sequitur caught up with him and he just quirked his head to the side.

"A school full of nut-jobs and suicidal teens… has an archery club." Sirius said more slowly, letting the irony and stupidity of the thought sink in, and before long all three boys had broken down into laughter again

 

Sirius was satisfied to find that the room was still trashed when he returned after dinner. Once their fit of laughter had run its course, they’d continued to argue about there was enough evidence to support Remus being a murderous, jilted lover, or whether James and Peter were full of shit. They never did reach a consensus, though Sirius still leaned toward the latter.

Remus still struck him as nothing more than a spoiled kid who was used to getting his way—even as he refused to address the kettle or the pot in the situation—but it was tantalizing. Whether it was true or not, it whet Sirius’s appetite for answers. If it was true, then it meant Remus Lupin had secrets even better than liposuction bills or secret love affairs. 

He had to know. 

Murder had a tall ladder to be climbed before he could get his answers, though. So he would have to start at the bottom. He would start by figuring out whether or not Remus was gay.

 

Sirius was lounging on his messy bed, face in a music magazine when he heard the door open. He decided that he should just play it cool and ignore him for a while, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of his attention, though that only lasted until he heard the door click shut, then he peeked over his magazine at him.

Remus' face was still mostly passive, but his brows were knit just a little, giving him away. He was frustrated, even if it was a subtle expression. What caught Sirius' attention, though, was that he was looking anywhere but at Sirius. Then he understood.

"They wouldn't move me, would they?" he asked, grinning over the magazine he let drop to his chest.

"Don't speak to me." Lupin’s voice was even, but Sirius could hear a small twinge of anger behind it and it made him snicker.

"I'll take that as a 'no'." 

A flip of excitement turned Sirius’s stomach when he saw the other boy’s brows come together further. The thrill he felt surprised him for a second. It was exhilarating to see that little break in Remus' well-constructed barrier, and it shocked him to realize that the thrill was almost sexual. It was like the feeling of excitement when you finally get to see or feel or taste some part of a lover's body that you'd been working so hard for. That little quirk of his brow was his reward and he found himself gnawing on his lip around a lewd grin. He liked this game.

Something predatory stirred inside him as he watched Remus move to his bed, which he began making again. There were no complaints, no huffing, just calm, deliberate motions. Sirius wanted to disrupt that serenity.

"What's wrong? No one for you to cry to who can get me out of your hair. Poor Remus-baby." Another jolt of pleasure jerked inside his stomach as he watched the curve of Remus’s jaw tighten—he wished the boy’s soft brown curls weren’t hiding his eyes.

Then Sirius realized how to win this game and he had to use every ounce of control he had to keep from laughing.  
"You know," he began conversationally, sitting up and crossing his legs so he was facing Lupin's back, tilting his head to admire the surprisingly nice curve of his ass. "I think we had a bad start. We should be friends."  
Sirius thought that he might come in his pants as he saw the look of rage that flashed briefly across Lupin's face as he spun around to look at him.

"Excuse me?" Remus ground out through his teeth, something Sirius was used to his mother doing, but somehow gave him a wholly different feeling when Remus did it.

"Yeah," he said casually, pretending to not notice his anger. "I mean, we're going to be living together, spending all kinds of time together, sharing stories late at night while we wait to fall asleep. We should be friends."

Sirius wasn't sure why he enjoyed angering people so much, or why angering this boy in particular seemed to bring him an almost erotic pleasure, but he was beside himself as he saw Remus take a very deep, slow breath, his too-long lashes fluttering as he tried to compose himself.

"You will not be staying here. And we will not be friends," he said quietly, though Sirius thought he heard a slight tremor in his voice.

"Why not?" Sirius pulled a perfectly practiced expression of disappointment.

"Clearly you've not heard anything about me," Remus muttered, more to himself than to Sirius as he turned back to fixing his bed.

"I heard that you killed your last roommate." The words were out before he could strategize, and while he thought he might be getting ahead of himself, he didn’t regret it; especially once he was rewarded with another whip-around look of shock.

"Is that right?" Remus asked, trying less hard to cover his anger this time.

"Mm." Sirius nodded once, giving him a small smile as he tried to keep himself from shuddering at the power of emotion coming off the other boy.

"Well then maybe you should take the stories a little more seriously before I kill you next." Remus drug the words along his teeth, sending another shiver through Sirius without realizing it.

"Oh my," Sirius fluttered his eyes flirtatiously, "Is that a confession?" he asked, as though he were asking something naughty.

"What if it is?"

"Well then I would ask if you killed him because he'd refused to suck your dick."

He had been waiting for this moment. He wanted to see pure, unadulterated fury on Lupin's face, and thought that if it was as wonderful as he'd imagined, he might just have to touch himself. What he saw instead was a sudden surge of another emotion cross his features. A deep hurt flashed in his golden eyes and the light behind them that Sirius had rather admired suddenly went out, leaving them dull, plain, and just brown. Sirius felt a cold spear shoot through him, all pleasure he'd gotten from this game gone, then he felt his own pain and realized a little too late that it had come from Remus' fist smashing against his cheekbone.

Sirius took the blow without retaliation, falling back to his bed on his elbows as he watched Lupin storm out of the room, not seeming to realize or care that curfew had already been called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a review or comment!
> 
> If you want to check out my original work check out my boys love erotica novel, Hungry For You. You can find it in paperback, kindle edition and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited here: http://tinyurl.com/otlkp68  
>  **  
>  -Cole, an incubus who lives in an underground facility with other super-powered teens, struggles with self hatred for what he is and for the emotional damage he's doing to his best friend who has been "feeding" him to keep him alive. Bastian is a new recruit from Germany who can't tell lies, but also knows when you're lying to him. When they meet, the two have an immediate and eerie connection with each other, though neither of them know what it means, or even if it's anything good. If they want to be together, they will have to overcome their own uncertainties, their teammates, and the tenuous relationships they're already tangled in.  
>  **  
>  You can also follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleKay) and Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mellopie) for updates on new fanfiction, new original work, and for my convention schedule. <3 <3


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius lay in bed that night, his cheek pounding and his mind racing. It was strange that he was thinking on it at all, really. In the past, hurting peoples' feelings usually gave him the same thrill that infuriating them did.

~I was just caught off guard is all. ~ He didn’t want to admit that he might have been feeling remorse.

Lying in his bed, he told himself he would stay up just long enough to tell the other boy he was being a sensitive twat. The problem with his plan was the sneaking suspicion that something resembling an apology might actually slip past his lips instead of his choreographed cascade of insults. If Remus gave him that look again, he was sure he’d crumble under it. It was that fear of an apology that kept Sirius from fighting hard enough to stay awake, and somewhere around one in the morning he dozed off in a room that was still empty  
Sirius was standing in front of his brother's open casket again, staring down at his too-young face. They had always looked similar in the face, but his brown hair had always made him look kinder than Sirius’s raven-black locks did. He was kinder though—it wasn’t just a perception.

~~~  
During the funeral, the sanctuary had been packed of mourning men and women Sirius hardly knew. It was empty now, and while it was too dark for Sirius to see the walls of the church, the stained glass windows towered over him in every direction, their light shining on him in a dozen shattered colors. At the center of the room was the open casket where his brother rested, looking asleep, like he would wake up any second and tell Sirius that he’d really fooled him this time. He didn’t want to be fooled, though. He wanted to grab Regulus and shake him so hard his life would be forced back into his body. He wanted to shout at him, demand to know why he had to leave, why he had to leave him there with their parents. 

Sirius had never blamed Regulus for being the golden child. It was a title that he’d never wanted for himself, and one that Regulus seemed to manage better than he ever could.

Tears stung his eyes in a way that suggested this was no dream. His stomach twisted and ached and his head hurt from the sheer force of his sorrow. He took the last few steps up to his casket and reached down to touch his little brother's cheek, his heart stopping and a scream catching in his throat as a pale hand flew up to catch his wrist in a blur. Regulus stared at him from his casket, soft, dark dirt beginning to bubble up around him, as though it were being pumped into the casket from underneath his body.

"Come with me, Sirius…" Regulus’ voice was soft, gentler than you’d expect from a dead person, and, the soil quickly filled the casket around him. "Mother and father won’t find you here. You'll be safe."

Sirius was gasping for air as he felt the cold sweat saturating his hair and clothes, realizing that he was unable to break his brother's grip. He looked around desperately and saw a sickly green light casting down from the windows onto three people. His mother and father stood silently, each with a hand on the shoulder of a delicate, womanly figure all draped in white, a veil covering her face and flowers slowly raining from a bouquet that she held. As the white petals hit the ground they turned bloody red, a small rivulet snaking its way toward the still struggling boy by the casket.

"Come with me, Sirius," Regulus said again, drawing his attention in time to see the soil cover his face, and begin to spill out of the casket.

Sirius fought harder, shouting for someone to help him as his brother’s arm drew him into the pile. He could feel the cool, moist sediments give so his arm could be drawn in, the deep earthy smell surrounding him as his whole body was swallowed up. He could taste dirt as he screamed before he was fully pulled under.  
~~~

Sirius was shaking and gasping in bed as his eyes opened, light shining in from a crack in the curtained window. He was cold and hot and numb all at once, and his sheet clung to him. Immediately he realized that he'd only been dreaming and heaved a sigh of relief, bringing a hand to his face to try and mop up the sweat. The fear began to dissipate almost immediately, along with the details of his dream, and soon all he could think of was how much his stomach was growling.

Dragging himself out of bed, he stumbled to the shower, unable to function in the mornings without one. The water and the smell of soap helped erase the last bits of his dream. By the time he was done, the dream was gone and he was humming to himself as he reentered the room, one hand holding the towel around his waist. He stopped when he saw that Lupin's bed was no longer empty—had he missed him when he’d woken up, or had he come in while Sirius was in the shower? Either way, the other boy was passed out on top of all of his blankets, still fully clothed. Even his shoes were still on.

Quietly, Sirius approached the side of Lupin's bed, taking a moment to admire his sleeping face. He looked much better like this. While his face was still void of any emotion in particular, it was more relaxed than Sirius had seen it. He definitely looked better without that hurt look in his eyes. 

Sirius couldn’t help but smile when Remus' mouth twitch in his sleep. Now that he had the chance to look at him properly, he was less average than Sirius had originally thought. He had good bone structure, a well-shaped nose, and good skin with a natural tan, though since he was still in his jacket and pants it was hard for him to admire more than his face. Tilting his head, he saw a very faint white line that wrapped over the bridge of his nose. A very old scar that Sirius hadn’t noticed before.

He felt that bubbling urge in his stomach again to peel away whatever was standing between him and Remus’ secrets. It was clear, though, that he would need to use some other approach to get what he wanted. Telling himself that it was for the sake of espionage, he decided that a gentler approach was the right choice. Tucking his towel to keep it from falling, he picked up the comforter that he'd pushed off his bed during his uneasy dreaming the night before. After a quick pause, he draped the blanket over Lupin's sleeping body. He almost regretted his show of kindness, though, when he caught sight of his still bruised face in the foggy mirror.

 

After dressing, Sirius made his way to his first meeting with the school's therapist, Dr. Trelawney, where he would receive his entry evaluation and any prescriptions they might decide he needed. Sirius was quite certain that she needed medication more than he did, though. She stared at him through thick glasses that blew her eyes up to massive, swiveling disks. She watched him the way a chameleon may watch its target, but he knew she wasn’t looking for bugs—she was looking for the tiniest flicker in his face that might tell her more than he wanted her to know.

"So tell me, Mr. Black, why is it that you…" She paused, as though for dramatic effect, "thought you should take your own life?"

Sirius sucked his own lips to keep from smiling. He always liked this part of therapy—when his new shrink asked him this particular question. Their reactions to his answer were always so fantastic.

"I thought it would be a really fantastic prank to play on my parents." He tried to deadpan it, but it was a struggle.  
Trelawney just stared at him through her unblinking, baseball sized eyes, though—not the reaction he’d hoped for.

"Surely there is some deep rooted pain that would lead you to do such a thing. I understand that your brother died recently. How did that make you feel?" She pressed.

Sirius never liked this part, so he shrugged, leaning back in his chair to seem as nonchalant as possible, even as the cold feeling of a forgotten hand ached on his wrist.

"I dunno." Sirius shrugged, "Annoyed that I had to take on his responsibilities since he'd quit the game."

“Game?” 

“Our game. The game where we try everything we can to make our parents as miserable as possible. It’s a revenge game, really.”

“And by dying, you felt like your brother had abandoned you.” 

Sirius laughed, the feeling a little too raw and close to the actual emotion he wanted to keep private. 

“Please, he abandoned me a long time ago. He still played, but only in the minor league. He’d been in the process of giving up for years. I mean,” Sirius had to swallow suddenly. “He even let them pick a bride for him. He was fifteen for Christ’s sake. What kind of twisted assholes picks a bride for a fifteen-year-old?” 

Sirius regretted letting as much as he did out. Trelawney spent the next hour and a half trying to get him to talk more about his parents’ treatment of him and his brother, trying to find instances of abuse probably. Sirius hated talking about his parents, though. He didn’t want to tell her about the times his dad had thrown him around or the times his mother and slapped his face. He wasn’t so weak that he needed this stranger to feel sorry for him. Instead, he regaled her with a catalogue of pranks he’d played on them. He liked those stories much better.

In the end, she told him they would meet again every week to continue their discussion. She also put him on antidepressants. He reminded himself that he would have to tell James about his new “antis.” Then she let him leave. It was a relief to be back out in the rest of the school where the air wasn’t weighted down with incense. Trelawney had said the incense would help him to relax and open the doors that were blocking his deeper emotions. All it really did was give him a headache. 

 

Sirius was on his way back to the dorms when he was nearly tackled. 

"Hey, Black!" James toppled into him, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a friendly shake. "Glad to see you made it through the nigh—fuck! What happened to your face?" He asked, turning him to get a better look at the dark bruise Trelawney had ignored during their meeting.

"What, this little thing?" Sirius smiled as he touched the swollen skin. "I asked Lupin if he had killed Jona because he wouldn't suck his dick."

James looked like he may faint for a second before laughing energetically.

"God damn, Sirius. Are you out to die or something?"

"Well, if self-infliction won’t work, maybe murder would be fun." He said with another grin.

"You're fucked up." James declared, though he was still smiling. "C'mon. Let’s get some food, then I'll take you down to find some gear. I've been wanting to get you on the pitch all day."

"Ooh, glad to know that you think about me so much. I know it's hard, but please fight the urge to touch yourself when I cross your mind," Sirius teased, eliciting another bark of laughter as they made their way into the dining hall.

As they ate, James explained that Saturdays were club days, and Carl was already off with his chess club. After a few minutes of merciless teasing that Carl wasn't around to counter, they finished their meal and made their way through the halls toward the locker room. Sirius thought the school was strangely void of staff. He had expected men in white coats on every corner to keep track of all of the loony boys they were supposed to be taking care of, but as they walked, he realized why staff seemed so limited. Cameras. At every corner of every hall there were cameras that swiveled around and watched them as they walked by.

"You get used to them after a while," James said when he saw Sirius eyeing one of them. "They figure it's better than having people follow us around. They're all about making us feel independent here. It's really not so bad. You kind of forget they're there sometimes."

Sirius just grunted a noncommittal response before changing the subject.

"So you said that you were friends with that Jona kid, right?" 

"Huh? Oh, well yeah. We played ball together," James said, his voice a little more subdued now. "Why?"

"Well, I’d just been thinking," he paused, collecting his thoughts. "I know you said that Lupin probably killed him because he turned down his advances, but how do you know that he liked Jona like that at all?"

"You just had to see how Lupin looked at him. It was obvious the way he stared at him, all mushy eyed, like some girl. He didn't exactly try to hide it."

"Soooo…" Sirius continued, a little more cautious now, “How do you know they weren't lovers or something? I mean, maybe it wasn't one sided."

James looked insulted, like questioning Jona questioned him.

"You wouldn't even be asking that question if you'd known Jona. He was the best footy player I'd ever met. There wasn't a feminine bone in that guy's body. And you should have seen the pictures his ex-girlfriend sent him sometimes." He grinned at the thought. "We had to swipe most of them from the mail room since they took them out during inspections, but that girl was raunchy. There's no way he'd go after some guy when he had something like that back home."

Sirius just rolled his eyes. It was clear that James had no idea how appealing another man's body could be, or the fact that you could crave it even after enjoying a woman. He chose not to pursue that particular argument, as he would never really understand it. Instead he grinned to himself, anticipating his reaction.

"So I think I'm going to be his friend," Sirius said, his eyes sliding over to James just in time to catch his mouth falling open.

"Whose? Lupin's?" He asked incredulously as they opened a small store closet in the back of the locker room. 

"Yeah." Sirius put his hands behind his head as James continued to dig for shin guards. "I figure it would be the best way to annoy him. I mean, imagine it. He's all wrapped up in this lone wolf, edgy, dangerous persona, and then here I come, wanting to be all palsy with him. He's not gonna know how to handle himself. It'll be hilarious."

"It'll be dangerous," James corrected, not bothering to look at him this time. "Though… it would be kind of interesting to see how he handles it."

"Well I don't care what you guys say, I still don't think he's as dangerous as you lot do. It'll be fun proving it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a review or comment!
> 
> If you want to check out my original work check out my boys love erotica novel, Hungry For You. You can find it in paperback, kindle edition and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited here: http://tinyurl.com/otlkp68  
> **  
> -Cole, an incubus who lives in an underground facility with other super-powered teens, struggles with self hatred for what he is and for the emotional damage he's doing to his best friend who has been "feeding" him to keep him alive. Bastian is a new recruit from Germany who can't tell lies, but also knows when you're lying to him. When they meet, the two have an immediate and eerie connection with each other, though neither of them know what it means, or even if it's anything good. If they want to be together, they will have to overcome their own uncertainties, their teammates, and the tenuous relationships they're already tangled in.  
> **  
> You can also follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleKay) and Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mellopie) for updates on new fanfiction, new original work, and for my convention schedule. <3 <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and short chapter! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! More to come!

Sirius was in desperate need of another shower as he made his way back to his room. He and James had lost track of time on the pitch, and, even after Peter showed up, they left him sitting on the side lines for almost an hour just watching them. They hadn't talked much about Remus after that, though Sirius was reminded of his plans when he opened the door in time to see Remus angrily making his bed, Black's comforter in a crumpled wad on the floor, looking suspiciously like someone had thrown it there. Sirius grinned as he imagined Remus throwing it in a fit of anger.

"If you come near me while I'm sleeping again, I really will kill you," Remus said before Sirius had the chance to speak.

Sirius only chuckled. "You're welcome." He peeled his sweaty shirt off his toned chest, feeling scandalized and thrilled when he saw a tiny flash of gold as Remus' eyes darted toward his exposed skin.

"Don't be shy. You can look if you want," Sirius flirted.

Remus did look at him then, though his eyes were narrowed and honed on Black's face, and not his body.  
"You disgust me." 

"Oh?" Sirius asked, offering his best smirk as he pushed his pants down over his hips, leaving only the low-riding boxer-briefs he'd chosen because of the perfect way they displayed the hard V at the base of his abs. He was rewarded with a small downward dart of Remus' eyes before the brunette turned his back on him again. Sirius chuckled to himself as he sauntered into the bathroom, giving Remus all the time he might want to admire him as he went. 

The shower was the perfect place for plotting, and had been the office in which he'd devised some of his most devious pranks. Now, he went over what he knew about Remus, and his options for the extrication of the information he really wanted.

Well at least I proved part of the story. Sirius thought to himself. He's obviously interested in guys.

The way Remus had glanced at him was unmistakable. It was the look boys at his boarding school used to give him when they were still saying "No, I'm straight. Really." And it was the look they had right before they caved. But it wasn't enough to just know that Remus was most likely gay. Being gay didn't mean that he was also a murderer--it didn't even mean that he'd had any interest in Jona. There was only one way to find that out. He would have to become friends with him. Once Remus liked him, once he trusted him, then he would tell him everything he wanted to know. That also meant he would have to do something he very, very rarely did.

 

"Look," he began, once he was out of the shower and in proper pants, "I'm sorry for what I said last night, alright" The apologetic word stuck to his tongue for a second before he was able to get them out. "It wasn't right of me, and I really was serious when I said we should be friends."  
The anger that almost always showed in Remus' eyes when Sirius was around lightened just a little at the apology.

"I still don't want to be friends with you." His voice was a little less rigid, despite his best efforts to sound tough.

"Come on," Sirius began, offering his most tempting smile. "Would it really be so bad to have me as a friend? When's the last time you had one?" A small wave of tension passed though Sirius' gut as he saw a ghost of the hurt from night before flash through Lupin's eyes--the gold wavering, threatening to dull again. "Jona was your last friend, wasn't he?" Sirius asked, his voice lower now, not sure why he'd adopted such a gentle tone.

Anger flashed in Lupin's eyes again.

"I don't want to be your friend. And I don't want to hear you talking about something you know nothing about." In two long strides Remus had his finger jammed against Sirius' chest. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from me and keep your fucking mouth shut!"

The pleasant shiver Sirius had been waiting for ran through his body as Remus showed him that beautiful anger again. Even his nipples peaked in answer to the force he heard in the other boy's voice. Remus' anger wavered under the wicked grin Sirius felt stretch his face, and the honey-colored eyes fluttered nervously as Sirius caught his wrist, pulling his hand flat against his chest.

"Or what?" Sirius teased, dropping his voice down an octave. "Will you murder me?"

"Y-yes…" The stammer in Remus' voice betrayed him, and Sirius could feel a small quaking in his arm where he held him.

"You don't scare me, Remus Lupin." Sirius said, nearly whispering as he leaned in close to him, wanting to groan when he felt Remus stiffen and try to pull his arm out of the other boy's grasp.

Remus' mouth opened and closed a few times, but he seemed too nervous--or scared, maybe--to respond.

Sirius only smiled. "You better get used to me being around, because I'm very stubborn, and I'm going to find all of your secrets, Remus, whether you want me to or not. We can do this the easy way and be friends, and I'll wait patiently for you to tell me. Or we can do this the hard way, and I will force all the answers out of you."

Remus panicked, his free hand pulling back to slug him again. It was cute watching someone so soft trying so hard to be tough, and Sirius caught his other wrist before he could do anything. To keep him from escaping he pulled the smaller boy flush against his body. The angry sound that escaped Lupin's lips had a small twinge of fear and arousal in it, and Sirius could see color rising in the other boy's cheeks. 

"Let go of me!" Remus demanded, shouting for real this time, and Sirius loved the raw emotion he saw there. It suited this honey colored boy far better than the stony façade he'd put up.

"Don't threaten me, Remus. If you tell me you're going to kill me, you better plan to follow through. I hate liars."

He let Remus go, then, watching him stumble back against his own bed from the force he'd been using to break Sirius's unyielding grip. He stood stone still for a minute, trying to catch his breath, his face looking like a scared animal's. Sirius turned and picked up his blanket from the floor, and before he was even standing up straight again he heard Lupin's foot steps and the door closing as he fled. 

He's awfully skittish for a suspected murderer, he thought to himself before going over to finish the clean-up job Remus had abandoned.

________________________________________

The room remained empty for the rest of the day. It wasn’t that Sirius particularly hated being alone, but all he could do was wonder where Lupin spent all of his time. Being alone was one thing, but being alone thinking about another person was something else entirely. By lights-out, Remus was still missing, and the curiosity churned in Sirius’ gut to point of insomnia. He told himself he wasn’t waiting on Remus to get back as he lie awake in bed, though as he heard the key in the door, he stilled and feigned sleep. With one eye cracked open, he fought the grin tugging at his lips as Remus thoughtfully eased the door silently closed behind him. The politeness of the gesture made him gnaw his lip in the dark. 

Some Murderer…

He watched as Remus tip-toed his way into the room, quietly opening his dresser drawer. After throwing a look in Black's direction, insuring he was asleep, he turned his back to the other boy’s bed and pulled his shirt off.

Polite AND modes? How interesting.

In the privacy of the dark, Sirius took in the brunette’s pleasantly narrow build, but found but was shocked when he saw a word tattooed across his shoulder blades. It was too dark to make out what it said, but Sirius would not have pegged Remus as the type to have a tattoo. That prickling feeling of curiosity swirled around in his stomach again. It had been a long time since anyone had surprised him as often as this boy had. He was distracted when he pulled his pants off after pulling on a long sleeve sleeping shirt.

He really does have a nice ass, Sirius thought as he watched him, though he was distracted even from that as more and more tattoos were revealed. On his legs, wrapping around his side—there was even one that trailed a diagonal line across his ass cheek. He still couldn't make out what they said, but he only just squelched the urge to flip the light on to get a proper look at them. He found himself squinting in the dark, desperately trying to read them, but before he could decipher anything, the other boy had pulled his sleeping pants on. Sirius stayed silent as Remus slid between his sheets and turned over to face the wall. After a while, all Sirius could hear was the gentle rise and fall of Lupin's breath.

Tattoos… rumors of unrequited love… the murder of his only close friend…

Sirius found that the more clues he got, the more uncertainty he had about the situation. He had to do something to keep this boy from fleeing every time things got uncomfortable. He needed more time with him if he was going to get close enough to learn anything pertinent. 

He spent the rest of the night trying to find an answer to that problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a review or comment!
> 
> If you want to check out my original work check out my boys love erotica novel, Hungry For You. You can find it in paperback, kindle edition and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited here: http://tinyurl.com/otlkp68  
> **  
> -Cole, an incubus who lives in an underground facility with other super-powered teens, struggles with self hatred for what he is and for the emotional damage he's doing to his best friend who has been "feeding" him to keep him alive. Bastian is a new recruit from Germany who can't tell lies, but also knows when you're lying to him. When they meet, the two have an immediate and eerie connection with each other, though neither of them know what it means, or even if it's anything good. If they want to be together, they will have to overcome their own uncertainties, their teammates, and the tenuous relationships they're already tangled in.  
> **  
> You can also follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleKay) and Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mellopie) for updates on new fanfiction, new original work, and for my convention schedule. <3 <3


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius was startled awake the next morning by a booming of church bells. They shook the walls and made his skull vibrate. His brain was still reverberating with the last toll as he looked over to find Remus' bed empty and neatly made. He was disappointed. Originally, he'd planned to get up early, before Remus was awake, and sneak a look at his tattoos. At least, that had been his plan before he'd stayed up going over it again and again. Now he only had enough time to pull a hoodie on over his head and run to the sanctuary at the back of the school. The last thing he needed was shit from the teachers for missing Mass.   
________________________________________

"You look like shit." James said as Sirius half sat, half fell into the pew next to him.

"Yeah, piss off" He said gruffly, unable to hid his usual morning moodiness. 

James just laughed at him before looking down at his sports mag, not caring that the priest was starting to call the service to order. Sirius considered bowing his head in "prayer" to get a few more minutes of sleep, but then he caught sight of Remus. He was sitting five or six rows ahead of him next to a man that Sirius guessed was a staff member or teacher. It was hard to get a good look at more than the back of his head, but he had wavy hair that was long enough to be tied back, and was sprinkled with a few graying strands. Sirius sat up straight as he finally saw the man turn his head, glad that he'd get a look at his profile, then he frowned as he watched the man lean in close to Remus, his forehead actually brushing against Lupin's soft looking curls to say something quietly into his ear. In profile he saw that the man was probably in his early 40s, a neat line of hair running along his jaw line and a very straight bridged nose that seemed to start between his brows. He was not the type Sirius found attractive, but was the definition of masculine, which he knew some people preferred. It was shocking to see Remus sedately nod before they both turned back to the priest.

Sirius nudged James with his elbow and leaned close to him, asking in a whisper, “Who’s that bloke with Remus?" 

"Huh?" James looked up, glanced at them a second, then went back to his magazine. "S'just Mr. Greyback. He's a teacher."

"Well I figured that. They seem close though. What's that about?" He pressed James as best he could in a whisper. His gut was telling him there was more going on than James expected. But James had already proved himself less than interested in that sort of thing.

"I d'know." He was doing everything he could to avoid being 

"They're close because he's the archery instructor." Said Peter, who Sirius hadn’t seen come up to sit on his other side.

"Is that it?" Sirius asked.

"Well I think that Lupin also does therapy with him. It's why he's not usually at dinner," Peter said, obviously more interested in gossip than James was.

"Isn't it kinda weird though? That Remus seems fine with being around him and chatting it up with him, but won’t have anything to do with any of the other students?" Sirius ducked his head a little as one of the teachers shot him a glare for talking.

"I guess it kind of is…" Peter whispered after a second. "Greyback's a really cool guy though. All the students like him because he lets us get away with just about anything. Sometimes he even cancels his class all together just so we can go out when the weather's really nice" He seemed fond of him as well. "Honestly, I think they've always been close."

After another glare from several teachers, they both decided to save their conversation for later, though Sirius wasn't listening to the sermon at all, too focused on watching Remus and Greyback for the rest of the service. Mostly they sat still, seeming interested in what the priest had to say, though toward the end of the service Sirius saw Remus jump visibly in his seat and look over at Greyback who grinned. Then the man said something that made Remus sit up more rigidly, a gesture Sirius recognized in the other boy. It was something he did when he was agitated, though Greyback only chuckled.

When service was over, Sirius pushed himself through the crowd, trying to catch up with Remus and Greyback, his gut telling him that their relationship was an important piece to his puzzle. When the crowd finally started to thin out, however, he realized he had lost track of them.

"Sirius!" Peter was panting as he caught up with him. "What was that about?"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply as James sauntered his way over to them, but realized he wasn't really sure what he'd been planning to do, so he just shook his head.

"Forget about it." He waved his hand dismissively. "We should go to the pitch." He suggested instead.

This finally got James' attention, setting a grin raging across his face, even while Peter huffed at them both.

"I'll meet you guys later, then. I don't feel like sitting around in the grass all day." He waved them off, seeming deflated that Sirius didn't have a juicier answer for his question. 

James had a bounce in his step now that they were heading to the locker room, and immediately he started rambling about some of the other players they'd had over the past few years, and about how great it would be if he could put together a proper team for competition. 

"A good team's impossible, though." James stuffed his hands into his pockets as they turned down the quieter corridor that lead to the gym. "Slughorn has this stupid rule that says we can't turn down a student if they're interested in participating. Since we're a recreational club and not a competitive team. I think he's just afraid the letdown will tip some of these nutcases over the edge or something. It's a load of crap if you ask me, and if we keep on like this--. Oh! Hey Mr. Greyback."

Sirius felt his stomach lurch as he caught Greyback and Remus coming out of the locker rooms. His eyes passed Greyback and went straight to Remus who had just caught sight of him as well. Their eyes locked for a second and Sirius could see the light behind them waver a little before he cast them toward the floor, turning his head away from him. Sirius was shocked to see such a passive reaction from him, and his eyes moved back to the teacher.

"You must be new." Greyback's voice was quiet, but had a gravely quality to it as he extended his hand toward Sirius. "I'm Fenrir Greyback. I teach history."

Sirius' initial instinct was to refuse him, but there was no reason he could settle on, so he shook his hand instead. The man's palm was a hot, and a little sweaty, and along his fingers Sirius could feel calluses--he guessed from his time spent leading the archery club. 

"Sirius Black." He answered coolly, not sure why this man's personable attitude was repelling him more than impressing him. He looked back to Remus, who stood silently by the teacher's side, eyes cast away from the conversation.

"Yes, I think I saw you on my new roster." Fenrir said as he shifted his weight, successfully blocking Remus from Sirius' line of sight. It was such a casual gesture that Sirius was left wondering whether it had been intentional or not. "I look forward to seeing you in class."

Without another word, he glanced at Remus who immediately came back to his senses and followed him down the hall. Sirius watched them until they disappeared around a corner, ignoring James' insistence that they get going. Something was strange. Whether it was the vibes he got from Greyback or the uncharacteristic obedience Remus was showing, Sirius was sure something was off. 

"I have to go." The words were out before he'd known they were coming at all, and he didn't even offer James a glance as he left the other boy in the hallway. 

He didn't follow them. He didn't even try to keep track of where they were going. Whether he could find them or not didn't matter, because his plans were taking him on a much more round-about direction. Instead of following them, he went to find Slughorn. 

________________________________________

Remus was at his desk when Sirius came in later that night. He seemed to be focused on what he was doing and didn't bother to spare him even a glance. Sirius took his time coming in. He put his things away and quietly changed into some sweatpants to sleep in. Then, when he was settled, he perched himself on the corner of Lupin's desk. Of course, he'd purposefully left his shirt off, enjoying the way it had made Remus squirm the night before. He saw Remus grow still where he was, though he refused to look up at him.

"Greyback seems nice," Sirius said casually, as though they had already been holding a conversation about it. "The other boys seem pretty taken by him as well." He paused to look down at Remus, giving him a moment to answer but only getting silence. "You seem close with him."

"Get off my desk." Remus' voice was quiet, but stern, and Sirius had to fight the grin he felt tugging at his mouth.

"I thought Jona had been your last friend. You didn't tell me you were pals with a teacher." Sirius watched as Lupin's frame tightened.

"He's not my friend," he said evenly. "He's my therapist and my coach."

"Ah." Sirius nodded theatrically, his hand coming up to scratch his flat stomach, finally giving in to his grin when he saw gold eyes flick toward the movement. "Well I was hoping to get your opinion of him since he's going to be my coach as well."

"What?" Finally, Remus looked at him, his eyes flashing with something that might have been anger, but maybe a little fear too.

"Well, yeah. I just spoke with Mr. Slughorn. He okayed me to join the archery club. Greyback is in charge of that one, isn't he?"

"No!" Lupin's voice cracked from the volume as he stood, his hands slamming down on his desk. "You can't join that club! You're only doing it to make me angry! I won’t allow it!"

"Won't allow?" Sirius asked, a triumphant smile splitting his face. "I don't remember you having the authority to decide who does and doesn’t get to join clubs."

Remus seemed to come to his senses a little and jerked away from Sirius to put a bit of distance between them, as though he suddenly remembered what happened the night before

"What's wrong, Remus? Do I scare you? I thought you were the one who was supposed to be scary." Sirius pushed himself off the desk to take a step toward him, reveling as Remus matched his step in retreat.

"You're not frightening at all. You're irritating, and I don't want you there breaking my concentration just so you can amuse yourself with your stupid, sick games," Remus said, regaining his level tone.

"Is that what you're worried about? Hm. For a moment I thought you were upset that I'd be interrupting your dates with Fenrir." Sirius used the teacher's first name, imagining Remus using it in private.

Lupin's face blanched and Sirius thought for a moment that he might faint. His eyes had gotten huge, and Sirius pretended he could actually see the palpitations of his heart through the boy's chest and shirt. He had that cornered animal look again and Sirius knew he would bolt if he pushed him any further.

"I really don't want your running off every night to become habit. Why don't you just relax and talk to me about it?" Sirius eased his tone, relaxed his shoulders--did all the things he knew would suggest a gentler attitude. If Lupin's reaction was any sort of indicator, he'd hit the nail on the head.

"How dare you…" Remus' voice was quiet when he finally spoke. "How dare you pretend like you know anything?" He was edging his way around the perimeter of the room as he spoke, trying to get a clear shot at the door, though Sirius left his perch on the desk and positioned himself between the brunette and his escape route. "If you want me to talk, then fine." His voice was shaking along with the rest of his body. "I killed Jona. And if you don't start keeping your nose out of my fucking business you're going to be next. And I have a feeling it'll be a messier death this time."

Sirius raised his hands toward the other boy, both in a gesture he hoped would ease him, but also poise him to catch the spooked boy when he finally took off. Sirius' heart raced from exhilaration, his body tingling with excitement like he was approaching a wild animal that he might have to fight if things went wrong.

"I don't believe you," he said, matching Lupin's quiet voice. "You're not a very convincing murderer."

"And you're stupid for not believing me. Don't you know that stupid people always die first?"

Thinking that he'd finally gotten close enough to the door, Remus lunged for it, though Sirius caught hold of his wrists and wrenched them away from the handle. A wordless shout escaped Remus as he fought to free his hands.

"So is it an affair?" Sirius asked, unable to hide his feral smile as Remus struggled against him. "Are you sleeping with him?

"Shut up! Let go of me!" Remus continued to struggle, though he couldn't match Sirius in strength.

"I know you like men! I can tell by the way you stare at me when I'm undressing!" Sirius laughed as he pushed Remus up against the door with his own body, leaving them touching from shoulder to knee. "Don't be so ashamed of it, I know what it's like to crave another man's body," he said in a low, carnal tone, his hips rolling forward against Lupin's body.

"Stop it!" Remus screamed so loudly that his voice cracked, and in the split second while Sirius questioned his own actions, Lupin slipped a knee between his legs and had Sirius on the floor trying not to vomit a few seconds later.

Sirius curled himself up on the floor gasping for air, coughing and trying not to vomit all at once, unable to say or do anything as Remus ran from the room. He had really not wanted that to happen three nights in a row, and he told himself, between his heaves, that this had not been the best approach after all. After dragging himself to the bathroom to be sick, he finally managed to stand and carefully made his way back to his bed. He still felt sick from the pain that radiated up from his groin into his stomach and chest as he settled under the blankets. Not his finest hour. 

The pain distracted him enough that thoughts of Remus and Greyback and dull brown eyes didn't keep him awake, and he was out cold within minutes.

________________________________________

Sirius was in his brother's funeral chapel again, the stained glass windows tilting in all around him, leaning over him and judging him with their flashes of color. He walked toward the casket, like he always did, but this time it was empty. The casket had never been empty before, and he reached out to touch the soft white lining, pretending that he could still feel warmth from where his brother had been. 

Somehow the space felt even lonelier without his body there.

Then the solitude and heartache solidified around him, turned into tendrils that wound about his limbs—morphed into hands that closed around him and forced him down into his brother’s casket. He screamed and fought the unyielding, icy grasp of those disembodied hands, but his head was forced back onto the pillow that suddenly smelled like death, and narrow, sharp fingers wrapped tight around his neck

Above him, on either side of the casket stood his parents, and at the front, reaching over him was his bride, small and draped in white, her hands slowly crushing his throat. He struggled, reaching to his parents for help, though they only stood by, the black holes Sirius once knew were their eyes, trained on his face. Then they leaned forward, over the casket, and their mouths opened into wide, gaping chasms. Sirius, in horror, watched as thick, wet, black soil began to trickle from their distended maws. Slowly the flow increased until it was coming from them in lumpy columns, the weight of it piling on Sirius' stomach and hips as they gently buried him.

Sirius' eyes flew open, greeted by the familiar feel of sweat and goosebumps and shaking. But this time something was different. This time it had been more than a dream. He gasped for breath and he still felt the weight of the soil on him. As his eyes focused, he saw Remus, sitting across his stomach, long, thin fingers wrapped tight around his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a review or comment!
> 
> If you want to check out my original work check out my boys love erotica novel, Hungry For You. You can find it in paperback, kindle edition and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited here: http://tinyurl.com/otlkp68
> 
> **
> 
> -Cole, an incubus who lives in an underground facility with other super-powered teens, struggles with self hatred for what he is and for the emotional damage he's doing to his best friend who has been "feeding" him to keep him alive. Bastian is a new recruit from Germany who can't tell lies, but also knows when you're lying to him. When they meet, the two have an immediate and eerie connection with each other, though neither of them know what it means, or even if it's anything good. If they want to be together, they will have to overcome their own uncertainties, their teammates, and the tenuous relationships they're already tangled in.
> 
> **
> 
> You can also follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleKay) and Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mellopie) for updates on new fanfiction, new original work, and for my convention schedule. <3 <3


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